As I mentioned in my previous post the night before the race, I woke up that morning feeling nauseous. My immediate thoughts were nerves and lack of sleep. But as my parents and I drove up to SLO to visit my brother, I found myself feeling even worse. As the day wore on, I started to panic a little. I knew that this was the worst time to feel sick, and all I could think about was my 4 months of training and hard work being spoiled by bad luck. I started to lose it and cried a lot, couldn't eat, and was just miserable. I kept telling myself that with some rest I might feel better, but also tried to prepare myself to alter my race plan if necessary. It never crossed my mind that I wouldn't run, just that I might have to run slower than usual. That night we headed over to Stacey's for a home cooked pre-race pasta dinner. After not eating all day, I finally had a bit of an appetite and was able to eat something, and felt a bit better after. We called it an early night and I headed home, hoping (praying) that a good nights sleep would do the trick.
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Around mile 7, I started to drag a bit. Then at mile 8, I had to stop. I felt awful, weak, and nauseous. My arm started to feel completely numb and I got dizzy, which completely freaked me out. I immediately knew I needed to take it easy so I could at least keep going. From that point on, things were pretty miserable. I don't really want to relive every moment of it, but I had to resort to a run/walk for the remainder of the race. I had zero energy, and because my stomach was acting up I couldn't get down any Gu. It was hard to walk, and I couldn't help but think that everyone who saw me probably thought I was under trained, too tired, etc. I know I shouldn't have cared, but I did, because I know I'm capable of more. As I continuously had to stop to walk, I felt my goal slowly slipping away. I was more than bummed. I was trained for this physically and mentally ready, but fate was not in my favor. And to have me conk out so early on sucked, too. The weather was absolutely perfect, but all it takes is one little thing to change everything, and there's nothing you can do. Let me just say I have so much more respect for walkers because being out there for so long is incredibly tough. I did barf. Twice. I adjusted my goal to simply be to finish. And slowly but surely, I moved forward.
At mile 23 we approached what we affectionately call Piss Hill, a gnarly half mile incline that practically forces you to walk, and still wears you out. Finally at the top, the last 2 miles were slightly downhill with views of the Pacific Ocean...not a bad way to end a race, huh? I've never wanted to finish a run or race more than I did that day. My body hurt, I was exhausted and weak, and a bit disheartened. Those final .2 miles were definitely bittersweet, but regardless of the journey that gets you there, crossing a finish line will always be incredible. It was a personal worst, by nearly a half hour, but I made it under 6 hours, which I had decided to make my new goal along the way. I'm proud of myself for finishing, and I don't blame myself. I know shit happens, and there was nothing I could have done. I know I have a lot more in me and if anything, I'm even more motivated now to reach my goal. But am I disappointed? Hell yes.
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My parents came over for dinner and made stir fry, and the next afternoon I drove them to the airport. The following week I had finals, so I was busy busy busy. I embraced recovery and didn't even think about running until Wednesday. I didn't have time the rest of the week, but I'm meeting Tom tomorrow morning for an easy 9 miler, my first run since my disastrous marathon. I'm actually looking forward to it. It's been raining cats and dogs the last couple days, and I'm kind of hoping we get to run in the rain a bit! So now that marathon #2 is in the books, what's next? Well I'm glad you asked : ) I need a marathon redemption, so Tom and I have decided to train for and run the LA Marathon on March 21st! I'm pretty excited for it as it has a brand new, flat course, it's the 25th year, and it's in an awesome location. I also have a bunch of 13.1's planned, and hopefully I'll be posting a 2010 race schedule soon!
p.s. review of Juliette (my Garmin 405) coming soon!
Rachel - here's the bottom line. you finished your second marathon...despite its many challenges on the day. after 30 marathons i still believe the marathon is the boss...and can kick your/my ass any time it wants to. give yourself massive hugs and high fives...and kick up that training for LOS ANGELES. see you there! cheers. you're a star.
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